Sunday, March 30, 2014

The Fault In Our Stars

So a movie is coming out. In June. And I cannot tell you how excited I am.

The movie is "The Fault in Our Stars". 

If you haven't read it, please do so. Immediately.

But come prepared with tissues and chocolate because you are going to bawl your eyes out at one point or another. I was depressed for a week afterwards. But a good kind of depressed. A "reflecting on how good my life is" kind of depressed. How lucky I am to be healthy and happy. It definitely made me look at myself and the world differently. To enjoy every moment because you never know when that moment is going to end. 

TFIOS also comes with some brilliant writing. Some of my favorite quotes:

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

“My thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations.” 

“I'm in love with you," he said quietly.
"Augustus," I said.
"I am," he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.” 

“There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.” 

“Some people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them," I said.

"Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway.” 

“You realize that trying to keep your distance from me will not lessen my affection for you. All efforts to save me from you will fail.” 

“But I believe in true love, you know? I don't believe that everybody gets to keep their eyes or not get sick or whatever, but everybody should have true love, and it should last at least as long as your life does.” 

So anyway, you should definitely read this book. 

Sunday, March 23, 2014


This is a big topic. Like, way bigger than I could ever cover in my lifetime probably. But I want to talk about it a little bit today.

So I am constantly becoming more obsessed with SoulPancake and their Youtube videos. One I watched recently is called "What is Your Biggest Mistake?"


What does this have to do with fear, you are wondering? Well, there are a lot of mistakes people talk about, but the one I noticed the most was when multiple people said their biggest mistake was being afraid of making mistakes.

Man, I agree. One of my biggest fears in the entire world is failing. I hate doing something wrong, and that has stopped me from trying a lot of really cool things that I'm sure would have really helped me grow.

It is a big reason for why it can be really hard for me to make friends. It's the reason I am not outgoing, that it takes me such a long time to feel comfortable around people and feel like I can be myself. I am so afraid that I'm going to say or do something stupid, and that people are going to judge me for that. And what I need to learn is yeah, some people are going to judge me if I mess up. But the people I want to be around, that people that I am going to develop friendships with and the people who I am actually going to care about in five or ten years won't. They might think, "Oh, that's a strange thing to say" or even "Hmm. She's kind of awkward." (I really am, around strangers. I wish I could apologize ahead of time to people I am going to meet.) But if they're the kind of person I want to be friends with, they will still take the time to get to know me and realize I'm not always as awkward as I seem immediately. If someone won't do that, why would you ever want them in your life?

Fear has affected me with more than friendships too, but I'll save those for another time. The main point I want to get across is this:

Don't let fear control you. Fear only has as much power over your actions as you let it. Fear will knock on your door, and you're going to hear it, you're going to feel it, and you're going to know it's there. But only you can choose to let it in, sit down on the couch, and pick which TV channel to watch.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Faith in God

So I love church. A lot. It makes my day so, so wonderful, and it is the best end to my week behind me and start to the week I have ahead.

This week in Relief Society we talked about faith and repentance, but we spent most of the lesson on faith. Faith is a really great topic because it is one of those very basic principles we talk about a lot, but it is something you are constantly working on and constantly striving to be better at. So I love lessons on it, because they just give me a great reminder to be faithful and to strive to do my best.

"Teachings of Presidents of the Church- Joseph Fielding Smith" has a really great lesson on faith and repentance in chapter 5. He says a lot of good things:

 Let it be uppermost in your minds, now and at all times, that Jesus is theChrist, the Son of the living 
God, who came into the world to lay down his life that we might live. That is the truth, and is 
fundamental. Upon that our faith is built. It can not be destroyed. We must adhere to this teaching in 
spite of the teachings of the world, and the notions of men; for this is paramount, this is essential to   our salvation. The Lord redeemed us with his blood, he gave us salvation, provided—and there is this condition which we must not forget—that we will keep his commandments, and always remember him. If we will do that then we shall be 
saved, while the ideas and the foolishness of men, shall perish from the earth.9 

I love how bold and solid this statement is. If we are faithful, we will be saved. It really is that simple, but we have to remember that being faithful is not just a declaration, it is an action. We cannot just say we believe and that's that. To truly be faithful, we have to show that faith, which involves doing what the Lord commands of us. That might require us to get out of our comfort zone, to give up things we really enjoy, and to make other sacrifices, but how can you say you love and believe in God if you won't trust Him? It's not always easy, but it will get better as your faith grows and you trust in God increases.

“Faith without works is dead” [James 2:26]—in other words, it does not exist. think James’ meaning clearly is, “You show me your faith without  your works, and nothing will result; but will show you my faith with my works, and something will be  accomplished.” [See James 2:18.] Faith means action. … Faith, therefore, is stronger than belief. …
  Faith is gift of God. Every good thing is gift of God. That is teaching of the scriptures as found in the 11th chapter of Hebrews—which chapter is very fine dissertation on faith—[and] in the revelations the Lord has given us in the Doctrine and Covenantsand in other scriptures.  Faith cannot be obtained by inaction or through indifference or passive belief.The mere desire to  obtain faith will not bring faith any more than the desire to be skilled in music or painting will bring  proficiency in these things without intelligent action. There is where our trouble comes. We get a  testimony of the Gospel, we believe in Joseph Smithwe believe inJesus Christ, we believe in the  principles of the Gospel, but how hard are we working at them?

Just something to keep in mind.