Sunday, March 23, 2014

Fear

This is a big topic. Like, way bigger than I could ever cover in my lifetime probably. But I want to talk about it a little bit today.

So I am constantly becoming more obsessed with SoulPancake and their Youtube videos. One I watched recently is called "What is Your Biggest Mistake?"

Video: www.youtube.com/soulpancake


What does this have to do with fear, you are wondering? Well, there are a lot of mistakes people talk about, but the one I noticed the most was when multiple people said their biggest mistake was being afraid of making mistakes.

Man, I agree. One of my biggest fears in the entire world is failing. I hate doing something wrong, and that has stopped me from trying a lot of really cool things that I'm sure would have really helped me grow.

It is a big reason for why it can be really hard for me to make friends. It's the reason I am not outgoing, that it takes me such a long time to feel comfortable around people and feel like I can be myself. I am so afraid that I'm going to say or do something stupid, and that people are going to judge me for that. And what I need to learn is yeah, some people are going to judge me if I mess up. But the people I want to be around, that people that I am going to develop friendships with and the people who I am actually going to care about in five or ten years won't. They might think, "Oh, that's a strange thing to say" or even "Hmm. She's kind of awkward." (I really am, around strangers. I wish I could apologize ahead of time to people I am going to meet.) But if they're the kind of person I want to be friends with, they will still take the time to get to know me and realize I'm not always as awkward as I seem immediately. If someone won't do that, why would you ever want them in your life?

Fear has affected me with more than friendships too, but I'll save those for another time. The main point I want to get across is this:

Don't let fear control you. Fear only has as much power over your actions as you let it. Fear will knock on your door, and you're going to hear it, you're going to feel it, and you're going to know it's there. But only you can choose to let it in, sit down on the couch, and pick which TV channel to watch.