Sunday, August 31, 2014

God is Watching Over Me

Wow, so it has been like a million years (give or take) since I last wrote. I apologize. It's kind of funny, because I thought I would write every day once I got out of school because I'd have so much free time. But what actually happened was that I just got lazy and only wrote while I was working or something.

Quick recap of my summer (whether you care or not):

For the first couple months of being home I just relaxed and hung out with my family when they weren't in school or working. I also took care of our new puppy that we got at the end of May. He is definitely not so little anymore, and he's going to keep growing for a while. A couple weeks into June I got a job as a nanny and was able to care for two absolutely wonderful children. I miss them a lot. (Seriously!) The night I got off work for the summer, my family and I left for our vacation. We spent a few days in Seattle (per my request), then went down for a week to a couple national parks in southern Utah, then spent a couple days in Mesa Verde, CO, then spent two weeks in Aurora, CO visiting my grandparents. It was a really, really great vacation, but I was definitely ready to come home when we ended it.

Once we got back to Washington, I had five days to get in a dentist appointment, eye appointment, college shopping trip, visiting/saying goodbye to friends who hadn't left for college yet, and hang out with my family. That definitely went by too fast.

On Friday my parents drove me down to Provo. We got in super late, and on Saturday we unloaded stuff into my apartment, bought food for me and hung out, which was pretty fun. And that evening, I said goodbye to them. :( I am excited for school though. My classes should be fun (except for stupid biology) and I don't know all of my roommates very well yet, but they seem really nice.

The real point of this post is about an amazing experience I had today. So I honestly am very excited to school. I love BYU and I love studying journalism. The thing I don't love about college is how homesick I get. I'm not sure why it's so bad for me, but it just is. I struggled with pretty severe homesickness all last year, and though it did get better the longer I was at school, it was always there. I was concerned about this year, because I did not want to go through that again. And sure enough, right after my parents said goodbye, that first wave hit and all I wanted to do was chase down their car and go home with them. I spent all last night praying to my Heavenly Father to help comfort me and take this awful feeling away, but nothing happened immediately. I started thinking (I did this last year as well) why I was even at BYU and if this was all worth it. It sure didn't seem like it was at the time.

This morning before church I said my morning prayers and begged God once again to please help me feel not so homesick, and to do something to help me. During our sacrament meeting at church, every song seemed to remind me of home and my family and I only seemed to feel worse as the service went on. Then, right before our closing hymn, the 2nd Counselor of our bishopric jumped up to the pulpit and said he felt impressed to share something very quickly. He looked around the room and spoke: "You are where you are supposed to be. I know some of you may be going through struggles and hard times, and you may have other things on your mind that are making you question your decisions right now, but this is a wonderful place to be and you are supposed to be here." I started to tear up, which was embarrassing because I hate crying, but I felt so overwhelmed with love and with the Spirit that I couldn't help it.

I probably wasn't the only person who got something out of that comment, but I needed that remark so badly. I am so grateful for the counselor who listened to the Holy Ghost, and I am so grateful for Heavenly Father for answering my prayers. He really does listen, and He loves each and every one of us individually and equally, with a love that is unconditional. I am nowhere near perfection, and I make mistakes every day. I take God for granted and I'm rude and I'm lazy and I'm quick to judge. But even with all my imperfections, God takes the time to comfort me in a time of need. He's pretty awesome. :)

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